GRATEFUL LIST TODAY

Hi there, I know.. I know... it is been a long time... but, here we go. Today, I am officially 28. So, I choose to start writing something on this blog again. I wanna say thank you for everything, everyone, that comes in my life.

Here is my grateful list for today :

1. I am so grateful for my health. 2 months ago, I was laying on a hospital bed, dying. So, the fact that I can still live till today is magic. 
2. For my family. For Mama, Sami, Bika who always here with me. Support me, help me, motivated me. I can not live without them. For Baba too, obviously.
3. For you, you know who. Thank you for coming to my life.
4. For my co-worker at Shopee Indonesia. Who trust my ability, my skill, and my opinion. Thank you for all opportunities. 
5. I am so much grateful for my body. I know, sometimes I feel so ugly and can not stare myself in the mirror, but someday I feel so powerful, pretty, and awesome at the same time. The journey of loving myself still up and down, but it is completely ok.
6. I always love it when I can see my self as a long-life learner. I have so much interest and willing to try something new.
7. I am grateful for my dear friends. The new and the old. The warm and the cold one. Thank you for all conversation that we have lately.
8. I always love cats. I am grateful that I had committed to pet some cats. 
9. Thank you for every quote that comes to me at the perfect time when I need it. Quotes can always move me. 
10. I love my decision to buy a kindle. So far it is the best spent last year.
11. I am forever grateful for my home. For my room, my blanket, and my air conditioner. I can have a good sleep with them.
12. I love the fact that almost three weeks, I committed to tracking my steps and exercises every single day.
13. I love and feel so warm when I know that I can fall in love with everything about psychology every single day. Fall in love from the stretch. Start to learning about new or old topics. 
14. I feel so much grateful to know and follow Ikonn Family. Mimi, Alex, and their child Alexa. I can have an ideal picture of a family that I want to build someday.
15. I love F.R.I.E.N.D.S. And I love the fact that I can always smile, cry and laugh every time I watch it.
16. Sending so much love and strength to all my clients. Online of offline clients who want to make progress with me, share some stories about their life, their hope, and their ability to face something.
17. I love the fact that I always feel empty but happy every time I end up counseling sessions. I know sometimes I am draining, but I know that I am happy too.
18. I am so much grateful for my goal in life: to help someone. That it's.
19. Sending a lot of love for all my favorite podcasts: TED Work with Adam, Thirty Days of Lunch, Semur, CurhatBaBu and Inspigo Series. 
20. I am grateful for all Ladang Lima's products, shirataki, quinoa, and Himalaya sea salt. 
21. I love the fact that I have a dream to make oatmeal or almond milk and kimchi. Hehehe, level up of cooking game. 
22. Oh, I am grateful for my new habit, to save more money and start investing. I know it is a long journey, but at least, I'm starting it. 
23. I love board games so much! My family loves it too. So, I am so much grateful for knowing Kak Manda and her board game collection.
24. I am grateful for the aroma of lemongrass. It always can make me calm and peaceful every time I sniff it.
25. I am so much grateful that I meet the Bullet Journal method and Notion - super application. I just love them.
26. Forever grateful for my sense of humor. Oh, I love my mom, Sami, and Bika sense of humor too.
27. I am forever grateful for my late grandmother and the fact that I always feel warm when I talk about her.
28. I love my self-awareness and the never-ending self-discovery process in my life. 

Happy birthday, Dear Hana. No Worries. Bismillah.

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Celebrate A New Hope

Hai Blog, super long time no see! (agak bosen ya pakai jumpstart ini, tapi ya gimana, liat archive, terakhir nulis bulan Agustus 2019 dan sekarang Februari 2020, hehe). 

Oke. Dengan semangat membara, aku mulai kepikiran untuk update life di blog ini, lagi. So, i did it. Malam ini ditemani flu dan demam dari kemarin lusa, dua keping biskuit Biscoff dan secangkir kopi Janji Jiwa (i dont really like it, but still oke). So this night, i wanna make one or two paragraph about "how i need to celebrate hopes that come to my life"

Sebenarnya, beberapa minggu ini, di pekerjaan baruku, aku lagi struggling banget nemuin semangat buat berangkat kantor setiap harinya. Btw, aku pindah kerja ke e-commerce orange sebulan terakhir ini, and it was so good. Masalahnya bukan terkait pekerjaan atau tempat kerja, tapi lebih ke dalam diriku sendiri. But i know for sure, yang paling susah dalam hidup adalah gimana caranya bisa mempertahankan semangat, motivasi, atau apapun itu untuk melakukan rutinitas kita setiap hari. 

Aku sudah mencoba berbagai macam hal, ada beberapa yang berefek cukup lama, dan ada yang berefek sebentar banget. Awalnya sih gemes, kenapa ada yang efek lama dan sebaliknya. Tapi lama-lama, aku sampai di satu kesimpulan. Han, its oke. Nggak papa dan nggak ada masalah buat terus menerus cari cara, buat setiap hari coba hal baru, eksperimen sama dirimu sendiri, semata-mata buat ningkatin semangat itu. Jangan down kelamaan kalau ada cara yang nggak berhasil. Coba pelan-pelan cari cara lainnya. Dan mungkin, hal ini harus kamu lakuin sepanjaaang hidupmu. Mungkin nanti di umur 30 an mu, tantangan cari semangat buat bangun tiap hari jauh berbeda dengan umum 20 tahunanmu. Every single day you have to search those ways. And now, i am totally oke with that. 

Selain itu, aku juga sampai ke kesimpulan lainnya. You need a hope. Not only one, but lot of hopes. You need to celebrate it with people around you. New hopes bertindak sebagai bahan bakar paling mahal yang bisa push dirimu sendiri buat lari lebih kenceng dan keluar dari "kotak nyamanmu". Have a new hope will be the best way to push your motivation. So, please make times to celebrate hopes. Please do cheers, hugs, and hold other's hand when celebrate it. 

Seperti tadi sore, tiba-tiba aku punya ide buat kegiatan yang bisa kita bertiga lakukan (Aku, Mama dan Bika) selama weekend. Kegiatan yang memang kita bertiga suka, nggak makan cost banyak, justru berpeluang menghasilkan pundi-pundi baru. Bola mata Mama membesar, bahu Mama naik, dan sampai malam ini, nggak denger keluhannya tentang hal-hal yang memang biasa ia keluhkan. So i order three cups of coffee for us. I need to celebrate this new hope. Oh and it feel so fucking awesome. 

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Perfect Night

image from pinterest

Hai you. It's been a supeeer loong time I didn't write and update this blog. But, tonight I push my self to jump in. Open blogger. So...

Ini malem minggu yang sudah aku cita-citakan sejak lama, sejak beberapa bulan yang lalu. Malem yang aku berasanya baik banget sama diriku sendiri. No coffee, no meals after 7 pm, taking bath with warm water and The Ikonns's podcast, use a mask, exfoliate my skin, candles everywhere, and a calm mind to start writing again. Andai setiap seminggu sekali aku bisa rutin kaya gini. Pengandaian yang selalu jadi andai-andai di siang bolong ya Han, hehe..

After taking care of my body, I always feel so kind and ready to face everything. I feel so good without help from a good cup of coffee.

So, how's life?

Life is good actually. Setiap hari ada tantangan baru, yang kadang butuh beberapa waktu buat adaptasi. Hmm, sebenernya aku nggak tau harus mulai dari mana. Tapi, as you know me, setiap aku nulis di blog ini, aku berusaha memastikan tulisanku memang hal yang sedang atau baru saja aku rasakan, atau terjadi dalam hidupku, atau aku sadari. Pokoknya aku berusaha authentic, ceilah. Jadi, sebenernya dengan tulisan ini, aku cuma mau cerita kalau aku habis berbuat sesuatu yang baik sama diriku. Bukan sesuatu deng, lebih ke serangkaian kegiatan merawat diri yang selama ini aku tunggu-tunggu. More post tomorrow? I really hope and ready for that. Wish me luck.

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Fall in Love with Being Alive Again

I hope

There are days when your coffee tastes like magic

Your playlist makes you dance

Strangers make you smile

And the night sky touches your soul

I hope you fall in love with being alive again

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